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I have never been a fan of social media.  Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Tik Tok, Twitter, it has never appealed to me. With my predilection for procrastination, I need another distraction like a hole in the head.  I have read enough about these addictive...

George: (into ‘phone):  Oh, dear.  I’m sorry to hear that.  Listen mate, one man’s meat is another man’s poison…   I was chatting to my friend of over 60–odd years and never once during our long friendship have I ever called him mate.  In...

Week 25.  A quarter way to 100 ‘Life in Laytonias’.  If I include the pre-cursor to ‘Life in Laytonia’, the 7 ‘Layton on Lockdown’ articles, commissioned by the Telegraph Online back in the March of this torrid Covid year, that makes 32. Goodness me! ...

Hard on the heels of our perverse, spirit-lowering and depressing (for me anyway) custom of turning the clocks back, comes another ‘event’ that I dread at this gloomy time of year. I’m reluctant to own up to it.  I’m aware that I’ll be a target.  Accusations...

A couple of weeks ago I was playing a socially-distanced game of Monopoly with my 6-year old grandson.  It was a simplified version of the game, designed for younger players like him and senile old luvvies like me. I prefer it to the original, which as I remember...

A few weeks ago, I wrote about my quirky obsessions (‘Life in Laytonia’ 17). Obsessive (pre-Covid) hand-washing, all our tea and coffee mugs going directly from the anally stacked dishwasher into the mug cupboard, each handle of each mug placed at a 45 degree angle...

It has been a strange week in Laytonia. A week of highs and lows.  Ups and downs.   Dejection and elation.   Happiness and despair. I think you get the idea.  I am happy to tell you that ‘the ups and the highs’ kick the ‘the downs and the...

Saturday, the 26th September, was a busy day in the land of Laytonia.  Peter the Builder was due at 8am.  I do know Peter’s proper name of course, I’ve known him for over 15 years, but ‘Peter the Builder’ is how he was named in my contacts on the day that I...

We are inundated with Buzzwords.  Having a tendency to be behind the curve, buzzwords are something I have only recently become acquainted with.  I’m still not entirely sure what buzzwords are… BUZZWORD:  a word or phrase, new or already existing, that...

In those carefree pre-lockdown evenings before 23rd March, one of the favourite ways to round off a day in Laytonia was an impromptu visit to the cinema.  The more spontaneous, the more enjoyable it was.  Moya and I would head out to an early screening at...

I have a confession to make.  I am a touch obsessive. ‘A touch!!’ I hear my friends (and family) cry.  ‘You’re a bloody weirdo!’ I would refute that.  I do admit, however, to having certain routines and practices that I feel compelled to adhere to....

Despite being born under the star of Pisces, I am not a fan of swimming.  My mantra has always been, ‘If God had wanted us to swim, He would have given us fins!’ I blame my best friend, who thought it was great fun to push me in the Lister Park Lido in Bradford...

It has been well documented in both ‘Life in Laytonia’ and ‘Layton in Lockdown’, the Telegraph articles which preceded these current musings, that I am a huge fan of the great (for me anyway) Larry David. For those who aren't familiar with Larry David - and sadly they...

If you read last week’s musings, you may remember how I described my gut feeling that due to the huge upgrade switchover being planned by my broadband provider, Three Broadband, what I was writing may never see the light of day. I went on to describe the chaotic and...

In order to publish, i.e. upload my weekly ‘Life in Laytonia’ blog/column, I am very much in the hands of my Internet provider, Three Broadband. I am writing this week’s musings with the sinking feeling that they may never see the light of day. Wednesday 1st July...

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I was in the kitchen brewing myself a nice cup of Tetley’s – now here’s a bit of trivia for you, I was the voice of ‘Sydney’ of ‘The Tetley Tea Folk’ family – just thought I’d throw that in. Anyway, I was making myself a cuppa, with half an eye on the lunchtime news.

As Life in Laytonia hits double figures, I have a confession to make: I don’t have a clue where to start. That’s nothing new.  Every week, until my aimless staring out of the window is interrupted by some eureka moment, I...