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Life in Laytonia  26

Life in Laytonia 26

George: (into ‘phone):  Oh, dear.  I’m sorry to hear that.  Listen mate, one man’s meat is another man’s poison…   I was chatting to my friend of over 60–odd years and never once during our long friendship have I ever called him mate.  In...

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Life in Laytonia 25

Week 25.  A quarter way to 100 ‘Life in Laytonias’.  If I include the pre-cursor to ‘Life in Laytonia’, the 7 ‘Layton on Lockdown’ articles, commissioned by the Telegraph Online back in the March of this torrid Covid year, that makes 32. Goodness me! ...

Life in Laytonia  24

Life in Laytonia 24

Hard on the heels of our perverse, spirit-lowering and depressing (for me anyway) custom of turning the clocks back, comes another ‘event’ that I dread at this gloomy time of year. I’m reluctant to own up to it.  I’m aware that I’ll be a target.  Accusations...

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Life in Laytonia 23

A couple of weeks ago I was playing a socially-distanced game of Monopoly with my 6-year old grandson.  It was a simplified version of the game, designed for younger players like him and senile old luvvies like me. I prefer it to the original, which as I remember...

Life in Laytonia  22

Life in Laytonia 22

A few weeks ago, I wrote about my quirky obsessions (‘Life in Laytonia’ 17). Obsessive (pre-Covid) hand-washing, all our tea and coffee mugs going directly from the anally stacked dishwasher into the mug cupboard, each handle of each mug placed at a 45 degree angle...

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Life in Laytonia 21

It has been a strange week in Laytonia. A week of highs and lows.  Ups and downs.   Dejection and elation.   Happiness and despair. I think you get the idea.  I am happy to tell you that ‘the ups and the highs’ kick the ‘the downs and the...

Life in Laytonia  20

Life in Laytonia 20

Saturday, the 26th September, was a busy day in the land of Laytonia.  Peter the Builder was due at 8am.  I do know Peter’s proper name of course, I’ve known him for over 15 years, but ‘Peter the Builder’ is how he was named in my contacts on the day that I...

Life in Laytonia  19

Life in Laytonia 19

We are inundated with Buzzwords.  Having a tendency to be behind the curve, buzzwords are something I have only recently become acquainted with.  I’m still not entirely sure what buzzwords are… BUZZWORD:  a word or phrase, new or already existing, that...

Life in Laytonia  18

Life in Laytonia 18

In those carefree pre-lockdown evenings before 23rd March, one of the favourite ways to round off a day in Laytonia was an impromptu visit to the cinema.  The more spontaneous, the more enjoyable it was.  Moya and I would head out to an early screening at...

Life in Laytonia   17

Life in Laytonia 17

I have a confession to make.  I am a touch obsessive. ‘A touch!!’ I hear my friends (and family) cry.  ‘You’re a bloody weirdo!’ I would refute that.  I do admit, however, to having certain routines and practices that I feel compelled to adhere to....

Life in Laytonia  16

Life in Laytonia 16

Despite being born under the star of Pisces, I am not a fan of swimming.  My mantra has always been, ‘If God had wanted us to swim, He would have given us fins!’ I blame my best friend, who thought it was great fun to push me in the Lister Park Lido in Bradford...

Life in Laytonia  15

Life in Laytonia 15

It has been well documented in both ‘Life in Laytonia’ and ‘Layton in Lockdown’, the Telegraph articles which preceded these current musings, that I am a huge fan of the great (for me anyway) Larry David. For those who aren't familiar with Larry David - and sadly they...

Life in Laytonia  14

Life in Laytonia 14

If you read last week’s musings, you may remember how I described my gut feeling that due to the huge upgrade switchover being planned by my broadband provider, Three Broadband, what I was writing may never see the light of day. I went on to describe the chaotic and...

Life in Laytonia  13

Life in Laytonia 13

In order to publish, i.e. upload my weekly ‘Life in Laytonia’ blog/column, I am very much in the hands of my Internet provider, Three Broadband. I am writing this week’s musings with the sinking feeling that they may never see the light of day. Wednesday 1st July...

Life in Laytonia  11

Life in Laytonia 11

I was in the kitchen brewing myself a nice cup of Tetley’s – now here’s a bit of trivia for you, I was the voice of ‘Sydney’ of ‘The Tetley Tea Folk’ family – just thought I’d throw that in. Anyway, I was making myself a cuppa, with half an eye on the lunchtime news.

Life in Laytonia 10

Life in Laytonia 10

As Life in Laytonia hits double figures, I have a confession to make: I don’t have a clue where to start. That’s nothing new.  Every week, until my aimless staring out of the window is interrupted by some eureka moment, I...