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As has been documented in previous musings, it is an irritating habit of mine to start the day with a rant.  Or to be more accurate, it was. I would regularly begin most mornings with a moan, a vent, a diatribe.  No. There is no better word than rant - ooh,...

6th January 2021 So, here we are.  The 12 days of Christmas are over.  The first ‘Life in Laytonia’ of 2021. Yes, I’m back after the festive break and I’m raring to go!   But I have a dilemma. 7th January 2021 Well, that was a good day’s work.  I...

Surprise! Surprise!!  It’s me! Having written last week that I would be taking a mini-break over the festive season, that for the next few weeks my musings would be somewhat sporadic, here I am with an unexpected pre-Christmas ‘Life in...

Goodness me, is it that time of year again?  Christmas lights, silver baubles, cute little robins and white satin bows that clip on the tree.  Silver chains with silver bells that adorn the branches and the Christmas sheep rather than the angel that sits on...

Those of you who read last week’s ‘Life in Laytonia’ (Farewell Methuselah) will be aware that it was uncharacteristically late coming online. To add insult to injury I began my musings with an addendum.  Ridiculous. You cannot begin with an addendum: ADDENDUM:...

Addendum: No, that can’t be right.  An addendum must surely come at the end, after the piece has been read.  Perhaps, 'explanation' is the more apposite word. Explanation: Why this week’s ‘Life in Laytonia’ is so late coming online.  2 words: ...

I have never been a fan of social media.  Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Tik Tok, Twitter, it has never appealed to me. With my predilection for procrastination, I need another distraction like a hole in the head.  I have read enough about these addictive...

George: (into ‘phone):  Oh, dear.  I’m sorry to hear that.  Listen mate, one man’s meat is another man’s poison…   I was chatting to my friend of over 60–odd years and never once during our long friendship have I ever called him mate.  In...

Week 25.  A quarter way to 100 ‘Life in Laytonias’.  If I include the pre-cursor to ‘Life in Laytonia’, the 7 ‘Layton on Lockdown’ articles, commissioned by the Telegraph Online back in the March of this torrid Covid year, that makes 32. Goodness me! ...

Hard on the heels of our perverse, spirit-lowering and depressing (for me anyway) custom of turning the clocks back, comes another ‘event’ that I dread at this gloomy time of year. I’m reluctant to own up to it.  I’m aware that I’ll be a target.  Accusations...

A couple of weeks ago I was playing a socially-distanced game of Monopoly with my 6-year old grandson.  It was a simplified version of the game, designed for younger players like him and senile old luvvies like me. I prefer it to the original, which as I remember...

A few weeks ago, I wrote about my quirky obsessions (‘Life in Laytonia’ 17). Obsessive (pre-Covid) hand-washing, all our tea and coffee mugs going directly from the anally stacked dishwasher into the mug cupboard, each handle of each mug placed at a 45 degree angle...

It has been a strange week in Laytonia. A week of highs and lows.  Ups and downs.   Dejection and elation.   Happiness and despair. I think you get the idea.  I am happy to tell you that ‘the ups and the highs’ kick the ‘the downs and the...

Saturday, the 26th September, was a busy day in the land of Laytonia.  Peter the Builder was due at 8am.  I do know Peter’s proper name of course, I’ve known him for over 15 years, but ‘Peter the Builder’ is how he was named in my contacts on the day that I...

We are inundated with Buzzwords.  Having a tendency to be behind the curve, buzzwords are something I have only recently become acquainted with.  I’m still not entirely sure what buzzwords are… BUZZWORD:  a word or phrase, new or already existing, that...

In those carefree pre-lockdown evenings before 23rd March, one of the favourite ways to round off a day in Laytonia was an impromptu visit to the cinema.  The more spontaneous, the more enjoyable it was.  Moya and I would head out to an early screening at...

I have a confession to make.  I am a touch obsessive. ‘A touch!!’ I hear my friends (and family) cry.  ‘You’re a bloody weirdo!’ I would refute that.  I do admit, however, to having certain routines and practices that I feel compelled to adhere to....

Despite being born under the star of Pisces, I am not a fan of swimming.  My mantra has always been, ‘If God had wanted us to swim, He would have given us fins!’ I blame my best friend, who thought it was great fun to push me in the Lister Park Lido in Bradford...